How do I feel about that game, you ask?
And no, that haunted look has nothing to do with Halloween. It’s the look of a man who realizes how utterly, completely, horrendously underprepared his team was for the Hurricane heading their way. Underprepared like bringing fajita spice as your sole survival tool and putting diesel in your petrol run car as you outrun the impending doom kind of underprepared.
Do you not understand these very specific inside jokes?
Well, I didn’t fucking understand the game the Leafs were attempting to play tonight, so life’s a fucking mystery, Felicia!
Under three minutes into the first period, just as announcers comment on how the Leafs are the highest scoring team in the league, guess which team scores? That’s right. Canes. Jooris scores off a pass by TvR, and I look into the camera like I am in The Office straight at every single one of you fuckers who said “It’s the Canes. This will be an easy one!”
Hey, quick question, have you met the consistently inconsistent Toronto Maple Griefs?
And then just 33 seconds later, Teravainen scores off of a faceoff win, because of course he does.
Matthews, bless his heart and soul and shot, scores off of a turnover halfway through the period to prevent my complete descent into insanity, but the Leafs fix that situation right up by letting the Canes score off a faceoff win again.
In the second, Moore scores as a result of a great play by Martin (okay, maybe great for Martin) and gets us within one. Then Zach Hyman, being the very best that he is, scores off of a net front play. Seriously, I could never say enough about how much I love this goddamn line. NEVER.
And it’s tied.
What should happen next is the Leafs win it in OT off a beautiful shot by Matthews.
What does happen next is the complete and utter destruction of the Leafs by the Ca…actually, it was completely unassisted!
Three more goals by the Canes get the Leafs to their loss of choice, 6 – 3.
What happened to the Leafs, one might ask? Well, their defense took a few days off on the occasion of Halloween, and I am being told its costume of choice is a two-parter. Elevation of unrealistic hopes and dreams of fans, and when the Scooby-Doo reveal happens, we discover that the real costume all along was the brilliant plan to crush their hearts to pieces like the pesky little bugs they are.
As much as I love Freddie, and as spectacular as some of his saves were, I felt Darling was the better goalie in the game, and gave his team a better chance.
And it must be lonely in the deepest, darkest pits of the earth where JvR and Bozak live defensively, because they are dragging down Brown to join them there in a hurry. He was a -3 in the game tonight, along with his defensive blackholes…sorry, I mean teammates, and we lost the game by 3 goals which is not something we could have ever seen coming…like a Hurricane. Who could ever prepare for such things?
In conclusion, new fan, who dis?
– Ridz M.
PS: I was too busy getting utterly lost all over a not-to-be-mentioned mid-west city and have not had a chance to write RbRs, and ya gal’s too busy dying to backfill. In short, they ended the Habs streak, FUCK YES. And won against the Caps, Wings and Kings but died agains the Sens because why the fuck not. Let’s just go against all rhyme or reason. *throws hands up in the air*
the no happiness league 